News Feeds

Younger Cousin’s Growth Spurt Throws Off Competitive Balance At Family’s Thanksgiving Touch Football Game

The Onion - 2 hours 27 min ago
ALEXANDRIA, MN—Admitting their disbelief at how tall and strong the 13-year-old has gotten since last year, members of the local Gunderson family confirmed Thursday that younger cousin Will Gunderson’s growth spurt has completely thrown off th...

Categories: Fun

Sharing Economy sharks need love, cuddles and SUBSIDIES –

The Register - 2 hours 44 min ago
'Independent reviewer' demands her industry is showered in gold

Analysis The government’s controversial “Independent Review” of so-called “sharing economy” companies – such as Uber – has concluded that they should be encouraged to self-regulate while receive government nurturing and love – and your money.…

Categories: IT & Technology

HP's converged storage 'growth engine' stalls

The Register - 3 hours 24 min ago
Annual compare shows fall

HP's newer, converged storage offerings are selling less well than they did a year ago. In the storage golf tournament, HP has hit bogeys instead of a birdy for the latest hole.…

Categories: IT & Technology

Weird Wooden Chair Pressed Into Service For Thanksgiving

The Onion - 3 hours 27 min ago
Weird Wooden Chair Pressed Into Service For Thanksgiving

Categories: Fun

Robot Athletes Got Game [Video]

From baseball to billiards, robots are improving their play, even competing in the RoboCup and RoboGames

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A WHOPPING 8 million Windows Server 2003 systems still out there

The Register - 3 hours 55 min ago
Refresh activity to be XP-like, biz still pondering next move

Windows Server 2003 refresh activity has yet to show up in a major way across the UK tech channel amid estimates that eight million physical systems are still out there in the wild - not all of which will be replaced like-for-like.…

Categories: IT & Technology

'Watson AI, cloud, mobile', says payments firm, trousering £49m

The Register - 4 hours 23 min ago
Gathers cash from Telefonica, MasterCard, Santander

Mobile payments company Monitise has raised £49m via partners Telefonica, Santander and MasterCard to invest in global payments tech.…

Categories: IT & Technology

Families Of Bears Players Ask To Have Faces Blurred Out During Thanksgiving Promos

The Onion - 4 hours 27 min ago
Families Of Bears Players Ask To Have Faces Blurred Out During Thanksgiving Promos

Categories: Fun

Software firms are over-valued, says Huawei

The Register - 4 hours 59 min ago
It’s only code, you greedy chunters

Inflated valuations for software companies are discouraging possible acquirers, says Chinese giant Huawei.…

Categories: IT & Technology

User flexibility without the risk

The Register - 5 hours 16 min ago
Don’t stumble into the responsibility void

Most organisations are seeing users and business groups starting to make their own technology decisions to some degree or another. On the one hand this provides those in the business with the freedom and flexibility they often crave, but unilateral adoption of equipment, software and services can create ambiguity over who is responsible for what. Action therefore needs to be taken to ensure that costs and risks do not escalate out of control.…

Categories: IT & Technology

Candy Crush King king resigns for 'personal reasons'

The Register - 5 hours 24 min ago
Chairman of the board takes leave of absence

The chairman of Candy Crush-maker King has quit as the head of the firm and stepped down from the board for “personal reasons”, the company said.…

Categories: IT & Technology

Thanksgiving Affords Nation Rare Opportunity To Eat Large Amounts Of Food While Watching Football

The Onion - 5 hours 27 min ago
WASHINGTON—Noting that the nation’s long wait is now at an end, sources confirmed Thursday that the Thanksgiving holiday will grant millions of Americans the rare chance to eat incredibly large amounts of food while watching football games.

Categories: Fun

Forget the accountancy scandal, our biz is back: Tech Data

The Register - 6 hours 2 min ago
We're keeping a lid on costs and exiting unprofitable sales, so there

If companies operate as intended then sales growth should be a given, and with its accountancy scandal pretty much behind it Tech Data reported business as usual for the fiscal third quarter that ended last month.…

Categories: IT & Technology

American Voices: NYC Restaurant Offering $35,000 Thanksgiving Dinner

The Onion - 6 hours 11 min ago
The Old Homestead Steakhouse in New York City’s Meatpacking District is offering a nine-course, $35,000 Thanksgiving dinner that includes edible 24-karat gold flakes and pigeon stuffed with foie gras.

Categories: Fun

BlackBerry's turnaround relies on a secret weapon: Its own network

The Register - 6 hours 27 min ago
The NOC nobody wanted is actually quite useful

Analysis Last year we invited you, as a thought experiment, to value BlackBerry as an oddball cluster of startups – and now it seems the company has taken our advice to heart. It forms the heart of its strategy: the once tightly coupled divisions are free to compete – even if it means taking business off each other.…

Categories: IT & Technology

Syrian Electronic Army in news site 'hack' POP-UP MAYHEM

The Register - 6 hours 55 min ago
Gigya redirect exploit blamed for pop-rageous ploy

The Syrian Electronic Army has compromised a number of news websites – apparently through DNS redirects via Gigya, a customer identity management platform used by all the sites.…

Categories: IT & Technology

Reality Check: 10 Practical Applications of Illusions

Artists invented illusions hundreds and sometimes thousands of years ago. Today we capitalize on those lessons and apply them to new technologies and formats

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Home Depot hacker hosing cost a wallet-draining $43m (so far)

The Register - 7 hours 27 min ago
Card firms might make claims against hardware giant, it warns

Hacked hardware mart Home Depot has forked out $43m to quash spot fires emanating from the data breach inferno this year, SEC filing documents show.…

Categories: IT & Technology

<i>Bladerunner</i> sequel might actually be good. Harrison Ford is in it

The Register - 7 hours 42 min ago
Go ahead, you're all clear, kid... Sorry, wrong film

Harrison Ford will star in the much-anticipated sequel to Blade Runner, director Ridley Scott has confirmed.…

Categories: IT & Technology

Yahoo<i>!</i> CIO sued for alleged kickback scam during his stint as Netflix veep

The Register - 7 hours 56 min ago
Former employer files suit against Mike Kail

Yahoo! and its CIO Mike Kail may have a problem on their hands, after his former employer Netflix launched a civil suit against him for allegedly accepting kickbacks when he was working as their veep of IT operations.…

Categories: IT & Technology